i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
