I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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