I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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