We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Randomize
