dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So much Jack, so little girl.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
