It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize