Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
