I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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