Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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