I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
