So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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