Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Randomize
