did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
