Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
