New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
