sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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