I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
