he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
