paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
