I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
