haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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