If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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