Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
