I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
