I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
