You're completely useless in the revolution.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
