My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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