We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
