She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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