And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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