He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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