if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
