We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
