In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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