She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I had to cum in my sink.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
