the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
