You just made me feel so damn special
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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