one might say we're banned from that church
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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