allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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