I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I believe in your delicious
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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