I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
organizing the empties. That sober.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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