And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
