omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
