I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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