I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
