I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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