dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
