i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
