Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
