To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
