i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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