I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize