Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
