I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
are you so shy because you have an std?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
