I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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