i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
