If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
