its not stalking. its research.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
