Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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