Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
