All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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