this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
